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Monday, June 23, 2008

Divorce/Child Support Horror...

Pardon me for a moment while I vent... There's a video of a great Jerry Reed song from way back called "She Got the Goldmine (I Got the Shaft)" at the end of this post. Check it out, it is too funny... if not for the fact it's too true for me! I've been divorced for over 7 years and my child support ended this past May. However, because I'm so far behind I still owe her over $5000. I'm not a deadbeat dad, I'm a broke dad. My ex got a slick South Carolina lawyer who just happened to be a state senator!!! Boy was I in for it! Anyway, the judge wouldn't even hear the case. We had to negotiate our divorce??? I gave her everything we had, two houses, over $30,000 between checking and savings accounts... I just wanted out. I ended up paying $600-$800 a month until my kids graduated college. My ex had sent me and email not long after I left and told me that I would never see my kids graduate, see my grandkids (none yet), walk my daughter down the aisle (not married yet), and never be a part of my kids life. For the most part that has been true, she used my kids as a weapon against me. My son told me I am dead to him. She makes more money than I do and has need of nothing. I told her I could do $100 a month until I'm done. That's not good enough for her, it will take too long to pay her off that way. She wants to take me to court... I guess if that happens, I will never step foot in South Carolina again! Well, whatcha going to do!!! Somethings she not only gets the goldmine, she gets all the gold as well. The horror of it all!:) Poor angry, bitter, resentful, sad woman. I really feel sorry for someone who can't let some things go. Thanks for letting me vent!

2 comments :

Elise said...

It is healthy for everyone to vent sometimes Frank. All I have to say to your ex-wife is that if she ever wonders why you left her, all she has to do is look back at her attitude and behavior over the the course of time since you've been with her and then left her. How very sad that she is still so stuck in the past and does not have the grace and dignity to move on with her life and let you do the same. If she ever really loved you she would not do and say the AWFUL things she has done and said to you. Everyone deserves happiness and you cannot let her try and take that away from you. As a Christian I believe in forgiveness and understanding, however I can understand if you cannot have these emotions with her after what she has done to you and the relationships with those important to you. I believe God wants us to lead by example. What kind of example is she setting? Someday she will realize that the things she has done are not God's way. I hope she sees that before it is too late. For now, be thankful for the many blessings you have. Number one Tina. She is a wonderful person who loves you with all of her heart and soul and SUPPORTS and ENCOURAGES you in all aspects of your life. Not many people find a love like that. I envy you both for it. Also, you have a "family" of friends out there who love you and wish you nothing but the very best in life. Noone can take any of that away from you. Noone. Maybe she should reevaluate her priorities. I bet if she did she'd realize she'd wasted a lot of years that could have been happy years, and for what? Bitterness over the past? Will that be worth it in the end? Don't let her hold your future like she does your past, because in that, you would be giving her far too much power when in reality she doesn't have any.

frgodbeyjr said...

I tend to keep everything inside too much, but every now and again I let loose. Thanks for the kind words Elise. You are amoung the VERY few "good people" who I consider a friend.:)